My ex would sweat so much during sex I had to wear a tennis-style bandanna towel whenever I was underneath him. He thought I was a princess for worrying about my hair, but I was a victim of waterboarding every time we went at it.
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I was having sex with my husband of seven years when he promptly yelled, “I’m done!” as he exploded inside me.
“I haven’t cum yet,” I replied, trying for a few more thrusts.
“I meant with you,” he said. We got divorced that year.
It was a classic tale of girl likes boy, boy likes pouring soup over girl. Not just any soup, it had to be ham & pea soup. I liked him enough to try it out once, and spent the next hour scrubbing out every little bit of slimy soup from my naked body.
I’d just borrowed a gorgeous pair of tight black jeans from a friend and wore them over to a woman’s house. Halfway through giving me a blowjob she vomited all over me - and the jeans.